The Conversations Within Elsydeon

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"First time I saw Alis, I had this sudden urge to own a pocketwatch!" - Myau, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"I thought we had seen the last of Dr Mad after we beat him in that cave, but years later I joined him, A hare and this odd little mouse for tea at an opening of his hat store." - Alis, Imitation Conversations within Elsydeon (by Fistan Tellmore)

"And here, I thought we had been at war, instead it was our soldiers who were at war, and even then it wasnt really war." - Laya
"Nah, its all how you interpret it. We sent them to battle, we were at war." - Orakio
Conversations Within Elsydeon (by Tapion)

"Termi... Termi? Yes, I think I remember the place. A town so small it wasn't even on the map? A dump. A complete wasteheap. I hated the place." - Alis, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Yeah, the lava. You know? To this day, I still can't see how we managed that..." - Odin, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"What? Shir is gone? Darn it, why did there have to be shops in this place!?" - Rolf, annoyed within Elysdeon (by Hatless)

"So...You let that Chaz kid lead?" - Lutz
"I...I..." - Rune
*sigh* "I'm very dissappointed in you." - Lutz
"I'M SORRY!!! WAAAAH!" - Rune
Conversations Within Elsydeon (by Tapion)

Odin: So I said, "I guess if Medusa can stop me, I don't have much hope against Lassic", duh, huh huh!
Rolf: That anecdote wasn't funny the first 86,983 times you told it and it isn't funny now.
Raja: Sure it is! Did I ever tell you about the time a spaceship crushed my temple? I said...
Everyone: "Four Motavians flee, fly, and fall, right on my temple hall"?
Raja: You're no fun.
Rolf: *Sigh* Did I ever tell about the time Nei was killed and Motavia flooded and Palma blew up?
Aron: Oh great, another of Mr. Gloomy's stories.
Sean: Who, me?
Raja: YOU?!? HA HA HA!!!
Minina: You guys are all weird. Have you seen my mother?
Rusero: What the heck am I doing here? I didn't sign on for this! All I did was help some Agent out once! Who's in charge here?
Nero: My little sister is in charge.
Raja: HA HA HA!!!
Nero: Oh, shut up.
Hugh: Alis, I presume?
Alis: Yeah, I'm Alis.
Odin: Alis, don't YOU like my anecdotes?
Alis: Well....
Odin: Well?
Alis: Did I ever tell you about the time I got a free Laconian pot?
Everyone but Raja: *Groan*
Raja: HA HA HA!!!
Nekise: I already told them about that. Yeah, I'm stuck in here too. What did I do to deserve this?
Lassic: Beats me!
A ridiculously long and convoluted Conversation within Elsydeon! (by Hatless, so blame him)

"You're lucky you didn't marry Nei, Rolf. You'd just have to see how bothersome it is to remove FUR from the shaving machine each morning after SOMEONE used it..." Chaz to Rolf, Conversations Within Elsydeon (by Wing 0)

"What're you doing here?" - Neifirst
"Visiting hours. I, uh, have some crossword puzzles and a book on macrame if you like..." - Nei
Conversations Within Netrdeon

"So Gaila's starting velocity was Vo and its final velocity was Vf, making its accerleration..." Piata Student, Converstions Within My Physics Class (by Katran)

CHAZ: "Rika, why are you in that pose?"
RIKA: "I'm imitating the old man, Meow"
MYAU: *Twitching* "If I had known before..."
Myau, Rika and Chaz, a musk cat Conversation Within Elsydeon.

"Ah. Yes. Well, the Great Collapse was our fault actually. You see, the first time, we... uh... missed Krynn." - An apologetic Paladine, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"How odd. I had a dream about electric sheep last night." - Wren, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"The landrover WOULD have saved us from damage on the lava, but we had to get out to change the tires every time they melted." - Odin, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Hey, WHY didn't we use the Hovercraft?" *everyone falls to the floor* - Alis, Conversations Within Elsydeon (by Wing 0)

"Why is this planet infested with violent thick-headed ape-men?" - Conversations On Ragol

"I found these records at an archaelogical dig. Aparently, we might have just missed a colony ship going the other way..." - Conversations Assuming Ragol Is, In Fact, Earth (and we all know it is)

"Obviously the scientists enjoyed living in a maze. Maybe there was some mathematical pattern to navigating the Biosystems Lab which kept their minds alert, but we couldn't see it." - Hugh, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"It would have been easier to leave the Casba dragon and kill the Dezoran with the torch..." - Odin, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"That's the last time I buy lava-proof boots (TM) from May-Lassic-Throw-Me-In-Chains Diba." - Alis, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Hey, a blue Ewok!" - Daniel the Earthling to Gryz, Conversations Withine Elsydeon

"What's Res?" --Alis
"You DIDN'T have Res? How'd you ever beat Dark Falz?" --Rolf, Conversations Within Elsydeon (by Johnathon)

"What did my fleas do against Dark Falz? Why are they in here?" - An Itchy Myau, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Waaaaaahhhhh!!! Then it's your fault I'm all full of fleaaasss!!! WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" - An itchy Rika, Conversations Within Elsydeon (by Wing 0)

"It's an ancient Palman custom. If you are trekking over miles of inhospitable, monster-infested terrain, you have to do it in a conga line. Well... that's what Raja said... *penny drops*" - Chaz, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Roron? A dump? You mean you fell for that? Roron is known as the biggest crime mall in Motavian history! You didn't think it was odd when they poisoned you, then bribed you with a car to make you leave?" - Gryz, Conversations Within Elsydeon (by Grimlock)

"Sure, when an agent turns 21, he gets full access to the Motavian government's arsenal. Before that, all he gets is a knife." -Rolf, CWE (by JWL, formerly Hatless, formerly The Hatless Dezoran, and that's as far back as I know)

"Suffice to say, I told Shir NOT to get me a present next year..." - Rolf (again), CWE (by JWL)

"On my deathbed I ask for ONE thing, just one /SIMPLE/ thing! But do you do it? Nooooooo." - Nei, upon first seeing Rika. The beginning of a particularly long and unpleasant conversation within Elsydeon... (by Grimlock)

"No, no. THAT button is the communications laser. The button YOU pressed was the main weapon. Oh, look, I won't say anything if you won't. Just keep it quiet." - Conversations On Pioneer Two

"I wish I had your hair. It'd match my skirt wonderfully." - Alis to Rika, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Be careful with what you wish..." - A very itchy Rika thanks to Myau's fleas, Conversations Within Elsydeon (by Wing 0)

"I learnt one very important lesson from my brother : Do not attack Robotcops with a knife." - Alis, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"We had our own spaceship with plenty of room for storage, comfortable quarters and a highly advanced robot for a pilot, so OBVIOUSLY we fought through Baya Malay and flew up on a cat." - Alis, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"We decided to stop using the Luveno because of the lack of leg room. Fighting hoardes of enemies was easier than putting up with Odin's whining." -Alis, etc etc (by JWL)

"Of course, Myau had LESS legroom, but it's amazing how much people don't complain to a vehicle with a self-image and claws." - Alis, Etc

"That Odin was a real nutcase with the Laconian Axe. He kept on swinging it around like a new toy as I flew everyone to the Air Castle. I swear, if he had cut me, we'd have seen if Musk Cats can fly upside down..." -Myau, etc etc (by JWL)

"Odd thing was, when Myau teleported he vanished slowly, and his smile was the last to go..." - Lutz, The Esper Formerly Known As Noah, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Nei had the perfect fighting togs - just not against monsters, robots or other females." - Rolf, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"I demand seperate closets!" - Demi, Wearing Wren's Head, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"We colonised Algol, and you... You colonised Earth? Is this right? Wow. Cosmic irony. You know, if I didn't know better, I'd think we lived in a narritive universe." - Daniel the Earthling to a PSO character, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Bunch up people. It's going to get REALLY crowded in here soon." - Rolf, Conversations Within Elsydeon Presaging Phantasy Star Online

"I *said* 'duck'. Didn't you hear me say 'duck'?" - Rolf to Nei, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Bloody stupid of him. He hides in a castle which floats a mile above the ground - and then parks it above a three-quarter-of-a-mile high mountain." - Odin, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Seed couldn't find the mutated 'swimsuit' gene, so he tweaked another couple to make sure I at least felt compelled to wear an ARMOURED swimsuit." - Rika, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Stop calling me 'Granny'! I hate that!" - Alis to Rolf, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"It wasn't much of a jet scooter. It looked as though they found some ancient, junked landrover and pumped the tires up really well." - Hugh, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Oh? So you actually got to see it snowing on Dezoris?" - Rolf to Chaz, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"No no no, you don't understand. You see, I only had one ring left to protect my teammates from being in the Edge, so I had to leave the rest behind. I mean, what kind of idiot goes into battle with half his team behind? How stupid would you have to-... R-Rolf, why are you beating your head against the wall like that?" -Chaz, CWE (by Grimlock)

"Oh, no. Zio's Fort didn't just COLLAPSE. Demi hacked into the Plate System just before we left." - Rune, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Wren? You might want to delete all Sega computer games from your entertainment database. We don't want any existential uncertainty in here." - Daniel The Earthling, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"What traps? Which dungeon? And how do you know? Hey! Come back here!" - Alis, Conversations On Motavia

"We pretended we didn't, but we all knew about Rika's teddy bear." - Rune, Conversations Within Elsydeon


...and then I ran out. Again. Ah, but you can't keep a good comedian down. Or even me, for that matter. So many people wrote in to let me know how they felt about non-continuance of the CWEs, but I ignored them and did some more anyway. Here we go again...


They're baa-ck...

Alis : "What? What are back?"
Chaz : "Heck, I dunno."
Shir : "Who said that, anyway?"
*silence*
Rune : "I think... I think it came from OUTSIDE."
*silence*
All together now : "OH! NO! It's JOEL!"
Conversations Within Elsydeon

"You fools! I am IMMORTAL! You cannot kill - uh... Where am I?" - Lassic, Conversations Within Netrdeon

"Hunting was my first job preference, but the monsters kept knocking my glasses off." - Red Ring Rico, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Why do they call you 'Red Ring'?" - Chaz
"My eyes. I'm not a morning person." - Red Ring Rico
Conversations Within Elsydeon

"I killed the giant worm. I killed a flame spitting dragon. I even killed an ancient demon from the dawn of time. But, man, those Rappies..." - RAcaseal, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Say, I've heard of you... Didn't you steal equipment off people whilst pretending to trade?" - Chaz
"Ha, ha, yes! Those idiots were so gullible! I got all my good stuff like... uh... That's, uh, them behind you, right?" - HUmar
"Yup." - Chaz, grinning
Comeuppance Within Elsydeon

"I'm confused. Where did you find the rules for Soccer?" - Daniel the Earthling to a HUmar, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"A 'Mag'? How do you catch them? With a MAG NET? HA! HA! HA!" - Raja to a FOmarl, Conversations Within Elsydeon (Original joke - if you can call it that - by RCS)

"I could've sworn we killed him..." - Ayn to a PSOer, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Oh, so you just left all the Musk Cats behind did you?" - Myau to Tyrell, Conversations Within Elsydeon

Odin : "Another batch? Oh, okay. Come in. I'll show you around. See her? Over there? She's one of the first Protectors. You probably don't even know her. Her name is Alis Landale."
HUmar : "Alis?"
RAmar : "THE Alis?"
FOmarl : "Wow!"
HUmar : "Really Alis?"
RAmarr : "I have to get an autograph!"
FOmarl : "Me too!"
*retreating footsteps*
Odin : "I hate that."
Conversations Within Elsydeon

"I'm not sure that Shir is the best person to greet the newcomers at the door." - Rolf, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Ack! Those new guys have really got it in for theives." - Shir, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Bah, who needs a dungeon key when there's Odin's axe?" - Alis, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"I was actually being sarcastic, but the old fool went and told me all about the Algol star system anyway." - Alis, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"In all fairness, I have to say it was worth it. That was nice shortcake." - Odin, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Really? We mostly encountered the Chaos Mages in the desert. Maybe they were lost." - Alis to Chaz, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"We Forces split from the Espers on a point of religous difference. And I don't care *what* they say. I *know* that Noah was a female." - FOmarl
"Really?" - Noah
Conversations Within Elsydeon

"I'm Lutz, history's greatest magician. No, really. Here, pick a card, any card." - Noah to a FOnewm, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Who's that Force playing cards?" - HUnewearl
"'Esper', not 'Force'. That's Lutz." - Alis
"Who's he playing with?" - HUnewearl
"Lutz." - Alis
"No, I mean the people he's playing with." - HUnewearl
"Lutz." - Alis
"No the other people." - HUnewearl
"Lutz." - Alis
etc
Conversations Within Elsydeon

"I prefer my hooded robe, thanks. That hat is just not me." - Lutz to a FOnewearl, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Hello. I'm a blueful Fonewearl." - FOnewearl
"Er. Good?" - Rune
Conversations Within Elsydeon

"I must be the toughest person here. I killed the mighty demon-god giant monster Dark Falz!" - RAmar
"Hmmm. Yes. Here, go tell Chaz - he's over there - and I'm sure he will be really impressed." - Rune
Conversations Within Elsydeon

"'HUnewearl' had better be a compliment buster." - Rika, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"That Raja guy makes me wish we could PK." - Anyone from PSO, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"I guess the Vampires just wanted to keep as many flashes out of Palman hands as possible." - Alis, Conversations Within Elsydeon (Thanks for the inspiration, Darrell)

"Actually, I dye it. Brown is just not the right colour hair for a Lutz." - Rune, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Nice shoes, Chaz. Borrow them from one of the FOnewearls did you? Well, they don't help. You're still short." - Rune, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Hey! Give that back! That's MY claw!" - Nei to a HUnewearl, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Robotcops can be hard to spot sometimes. They stand on corners and pretend to be traffic lights." - Odin, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Turning Odin back into a man was easy, but it took ages to clean off the grafitti." - Alis, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Yes, well, Sandworm droppings on our desert planet don't have any mind expanding powers. If they did, the students would know about it." - Hahn to Daniel the Earthling, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Well, Noah disappeared to Dezoris and Odin never felt comfortable with statues, so there was only me and Myau." - Alis to Chaz, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Halloween? I though I might dye my hair blue." - Nei, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Forget it. I wouldn't even know where to start on you." - Raja to a Fonewearl, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"The legend is bunk. We chopped off Medusa's head and tried using it on monsters. Didn't work." - Odin, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"My surname? It's Ko." - Nei, Conversations Within Elsydeon (One for Japanese speakers)

"We named the river we landed next to after a historical figure we found reference to in the Ruins. We called it the 'Nial'." - A HUmar, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"The guy at the tower over-reacted badly. I waited for ages, but the lake level didn't rise an inch." - Rolf, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"The droids on the dams got nastier as we went. Actually, it seemed proportionate to the colour, as if there was a rainbow scale of security. Probably just Paranoia, though." - Rolf, In A Subtle Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Those Numans would soon dump those godawful shoes if they had to walk over Motavia's deserts." - *Rolls dice* Even number, so it's... Noah (not Lutz), Conversations Within Elsydeon

"I dunno. Bits of it look kind of familiar, but..." - Daniel The Earthling, Looking At A Map of Ragol, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"I'm all for miniturisation, but I always thought that, with androids, they'd try to fit more in rather than just make us shorter." - Demi, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"My hair? Oh, I winched it in a bit and reset the programmable colour cells to red. I needed a change." - Demi, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Everything else was in the wash. I had no choice but to wear my ballgown." - A Fomarl, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Odin did eventually find a lamp and lit it. Dark Falz, it must be said, was not impressed." - Alis, Conversations Within Elsydeon

"Algol!" - Alis
"Algo!" - Rolf
"Yeah, it's Algo! Algo, Parma-" - Chaz
"Palm, you mean." - Rolf
"Palm-MA. It's Palma, Motavia and Dezoris." - Alis
"Dezo and Mota!" - Rolf
"Dezolis, not Dezo!" - Chaz
*pause as all parties glower at each other*
"Noah." - Alis
Conversations Within Elsydeon


Yes, well, the following CWE - er, CWPSDB - probably does require a little explanation. Mike, you see, is the mind behind Phantasy Star Ultimate in which he and James Maxlow have set out the 'definitive' timeline for the games. In it, they postulate that the humans (as in: Earthmen) are evil, psychotic, derranged lunatics. Despite the evidence to support this in everyday society, I reckon the humans are good guys who, like everyone else, were twisted around Dark Force's little finger. The following... CWPSDB might actually be funny if it wasn't true.


"The humans are GOOD guys!" - Joel
"Bad guys!" - Mike
"Good!" - Joel
"Bad!" - Mike
"Good, good, good, good, GOOD!" - Joel
"Bad times infinity!" - Mike
"Good times infinty plus ONE!" - Joel
etc
Conversations Within PSDB (with apologies to Mike)

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